I'm collecting request letters from people that I will send To Burningman Headquarters for consideration in their production of the event.
I have a few letters so Far.
Dear Burningman,
I love the event But I was wondering if we can get some music beside Rave music going. Maybe a little country western or soem American Idol performers. I think it would fit niceley with The American Dream theme, don't you?
Sincerely,
Playa Barbie
Dear Burningman,
Every year I go to Burning Man and have to wait in line to get in with dozens of smelly, overloaded hippy cars. Canyou please do something to ensure there is a way for RV goers like myself to avoid having to be subjected to these people who feel it neccessary to get out of their cars, dancing around in traffic drinking profusely making entry a nightmare.
Thank you,
GHB RVer
Dearest Burningman,
Last year I couldn't find anyone to sell me drugs. Can you please provide a list of people you KNOW will be providing at the event and the theme camps they can be located.
Thanks a bunch,
Nevada County Sherrifs Dept.
Dear Bunringman.
Can you plese do sumthing about Burningman tribe. net. everytime I post there I get ignored. No ne seems to know where I can DJ. I can Do trance sets, house, techno but especially Drum n Bass. I don't have my own table set ups but My Ipod is loaded with stuff I've done. You can check out my sets wwww.djay.myspace.tribe.net.com. Also if you can put me on any flyers I could spin at your private parties and I wouldn't charge you.
DJay
wwww.djay.myspace.tribe.net.com.
I have a few letters so Far.
Dear Burningman,
I love the event But I was wondering if we can get some music beside Rave music going. Maybe a little country western or soem American Idol performers. I think it would fit niceley with The American Dream theme, don't you?
Sincerely,
Playa Barbie
Dear Burningman,
Every year I go to Burning Man and have to wait in line to get in with dozens of smelly, overloaded hippy cars. Canyou please do something to ensure there is a way for RV goers like myself to avoid having to be subjected to these people who feel it neccessary to get out of their cars, dancing around in traffic drinking profusely making entry a nightmare.
Thank you,
GHB RVer
Dearest Burningman,
Last year I couldn't find anyone to sell me drugs. Can you please provide a list of people you KNOW will be providing at the event and the theme camps they can be located.
Thanks a bunch,
Nevada County Sherrifs Dept.
Dear Bunringman.
Can you plese do sumthing about Burningman tribe. net. everytime I post there I get ignored. No ne seems to know where I can DJ. I can Do trance sets, house, techno but especially Drum n Bass. I don't have my own table set ups but My Ipod is loaded with stuff I've done. You can check out my sets wwww.djay.myspace.tribe.net.com. Also if you can put me on any flyers I could spin at your private parties and I wouldn't charge you.
DJay
wwww.djay.myspace.tribe.net.com.
-
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 12:12 PM
Dear Burning Man,
Omigod! I totally got the best suntan last year at your little festival. Though later in the week, there was a big wind storm and all this dust got in my hair. It was totally, like, gross! Anyway, this time maybe you could build a big wall to block the wind. Oh, and, get a machine to remove all of the dust.
So if you could that, it would be awesome!
xoxoxo
Malibu Stacy
-
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 3:03 PMDear Burning Man,
The last few years I've noticed a "newbie" vibe on the playa. Tons of annoying virgins running around that really don't know whats going on at all. I found this to be a real damper on my partying. I was thinking it would be really nice if you guys could make a specific zone that all of the first (and maybe second) year participants have to camp in, and stay at all week long.
Thanks,
Holier than thou veteran -
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 4:04 PMAren't the guys in the RVs the ones that want to check out the hippy chicks?
What they complaining about, gas prices? Idleidleidle, what to do with the
impatience? Watch silly drunk people dance, of course...
-
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 4:02 PMDear BurningMan, I loved you event last year!!! I found only one problem. The alkali in the dust really was hard on my complection, and man, was it hard to clean out of my SUV. I have a suggestion, why don't we move it to San Francisco, onto a beach. Calif Highways are much better at handling large number of cars as compared to the road to Gerlach. The alcali won't be a problem, and think of how happy all the Hotels in the area will be to have such a big Convention come to town!!
Sincerely, SDSU fratboy -
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 4:17 PMDear Burningman,
Whom do I direct my request for a refund to? My burn was completely ruined! I paid good money to you to protect me from the vicious thugs, off topic posters, vandals and hippies and you provided nothing at all! The port-a-potties were disgusting! The single ply far too harsh, and when I used a few (okay, 7 those grill cheeses are sticky on the way out) handi wipes, some dreadlocked monster followed me all around the town hollering "It wasn't in his body and he put it in the potty" I was nearly lynched! Luckily (in violation of your endless rules) I was armed with both bear mace and a .357 magnum revolver and was able to escape.
Then I was trying to catch my breath, I asked for a drink at a little sidewalk pub and was refused just because I didn't bring my own cup! Who ever heard of such a thing? How is it MY responsiblity? Then the titty parade? OMG most of the women's boobs were sooooo saggy I couldn't even frame them with my camera! Who chooses the participants? I recommend hiring someone from Hooter's to screen the entrants next year. And then there was the burn. First of all, it was supposed to be Saturday! What the fuck? Then I'm waiting....I'm still waiting all that fire spinning, it's soooooo Wednesday! I finally had to go to the disgusting potty (after making sure no one was watching) and I missed it! No PA anouncement or anything.
I won't be back next year, that's for sure. And I want my money back. I will tell all my friends not to go and I'm sure they will both agree not to.
Learn some customer service and care techniques and get back to me. If you improve my experience, I might consider returning (if you comp me with back stage passes.)
-
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 9:37 PMDear Burningman,
Last year I had real trouble finding any waste receptacles at your event. I usually go to nascar, and they have trash cans everywhere. I finally found one hidden under a table and when I used it someone yelled at me. Finally, at the burn, I saw that people were just throwing their beer cans on the ground, which we also do at nascar so I knew it was okay. I think if you put trash cans where everyone can find them, you wouldn't have as much problems with trash, or at least I wouldn't have as many problems.
Sincerely,
Dale Moopheart -
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 8:47 AMDear Burningman,
I just love your event! It's so great! I feel like I can be myself and be free and have fun! But I do have one problem. I'm not the artistic or handy type. I love all the costumes and would love to make my own but I'm afraid that if I do I will just look stupid. I've tried to go to many of the DIY workshops but my creations just fell apart. I know I can just opt to buy costumes from the many Burningman.companies that make ready to wear identity shells but something about this smells kinda , I don't know, un-participant.
So I was thinking, In the spirit of re-use, is their a lost and found I can siff through and maybe assemble costumes from items left behind by other burners. I'll wash them of course.
Thanks so much,
Chicken John
-
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 11:31 PMDear Burningman,
I have noticed that with each passing year, the population is getting older and older. I don't want to hang out with a bunch of old freaks! They are just weird. Maybe you could offer discounted tickets to 18- to 25-year-olds? (Just the girls, of course!) We need more eye candy to look at! And maybe I'll get lucky with a few of them!
Thanks! -
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 9:17 AMDear Burningman Festival,
I am writting you this letter to ask you for Copyright permissions to the Image of the Burningman, it's name and design. WE aslo seek permission to use the designs and names of several art installtions and theme camps, including The Temple, Alien Love Nest and Christmas Camp. We are seeking permission to use these copyrights for a new line of Action Toy Figures and Accesories, called "Micro Burning Man"
The toy series include posable figurines ranging from "Playa Barbies", "Drunken Frat Boys", "Naked old Guy On Bike", "Hot Fire spinner Chick on GHB" to "Hippy Yoga Dudes".
We have minature ArT Cars, Mutant Vehicles, DPW Golf Carts and Bicycle Chariots.
The set also include a Gretters station, Center Cafe and of course, The Burningman Effigy Sculpture.
We are thinking the set could, in the future, expansion sets including , gigs ville, Kids ville and Jiffy Lube.
Our injection Mold are all set to begine production and we would be happy to negotiate appropiate proceeds negotiations.
Please respond at your earliest conveinece.
Sincerely,
Mattle Corp. -
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 1:15 PMDear Burningman,
I am sick and tired f people who come up to me with with playa names they made up for themselves.
Like just anybody can call themselves whatever they want! WTF! I had to go for five years before my campmates bestowed a playaname on me. These newbies think that just any old name they like will suit them. And they are the lamest names too. Earth Fairy this and Dragon tamer that. What knid of hippy fest is this?
They should at least have the decency to pick names that reflect their real character. Bi-polor Esctacy Raver and I'm Just Here to Take Picture of Tits Man .
Please do us all a favor and put an end to Self Playa Names.
Jesse Morland
(aka ~ Sacred Fire Wizard)
-
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 1:26 PMDear Burningman
Could you please hire a vegan, new-age therapist to screen participants and weed out those who aren't nice? Oh sure, many of them behave on the playa, but we're all nicer on vacation. But the 51 week snarkfest on the boards is just putting out too many negative vibes. I'm sure that's what's really killing the honey bees, for instance.
Anyway, Burningman stands for something, and it's not petty bickering or ego-gratification. We are going to be taken up in a space ship right after the burn in 2012, and I don't want to be stranded in space with a bunch of mean, meat-eating, leather-wearing dpw and industrial artists, just the good people who stop at the meditation camps at least twice a day.
Thank you
Harmonious Windsong -
-
Dear Burning Man,
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 1:52 PMAs a Gerlach resident, I find the presence of the Burning Man event truly obnoxious. I moved out here to enjoy the solace that the high desert landscape provides-- to live in a small, quiet town where I am reasonably certain that I will seldom bump into someone that I don't already know, or to whom I am not related. I generally can leave my keys in my truck and my front door unlocked, that is, until Burning Man time.
Around the time of your "event," the traffic is abominable, with the worst kind of people hanging out at the only store for miles, half-naked and with foul language and attitudes. My friends have to keep their young children away from the store for the entire week, for fear that they will be exposed to this filth. The traffic creates an unsafe condition for the schol bus-- that's right-- school begins that week! People wander around Gerlach into areas where there is nothing for them, poking around people's yards and up to who knows what.
And what is this I hear about "Leave No Trace?" Apparently this is forgotten the moment the hordes of scum come shuttling off the playa. Garbage on the sides of the road, garbage in the parking lots in Wadsworth and Fernley, garbage everywhere. The only worthwhile part of Burning Man are the kick-ass crew who help to deal with all that garbage-- whatever you pay them isn't enough. Their integrity stands in stark contrast to the callous irresponsibility of the thousands and thousands of losers you attract to my community, and dump onto my pristine desert.
While it is very nice that Burning Man provided a solar array for the school, it still has yet to be seen that the benefits will remain here in Gerlach-- any savings from this could easily go directly to the Washoe County general fund (aka Reno). Helping the Ladies' Auxilixary to fix the water tower (and taking all the credit) and providing for the Jeremy Williams scholarship fund is very generous, but does not go far enough to offset the damage that your event has on my community. I say let people opt out of a $1 per ticket tax, which would go to benefit the Gerlach General Improvement District. Our water bills are going through the roof, now that Burning Man has put us on the map and various federal agencies are requiring water and sewer improvements. As far as I can tell, the only person in Gerlach who is benefitting from Burning Man is Bruno, and maybe Metric.
Better yet, I say put a toll road between Empire and Gerlach. Free with a Nevada ID, $5 for others, and $20 for Californians. I am fed up with out-of-state corporations expoliting our Nevada natural resources and exporting the dollars to California bank accounts.
Please consider moving the whole works back to California, and thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
(name omitted)
W. Sunset Boulevard
Gerlach, NV 89412 -
-
Re: Dear Burning Man,
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 4:57 PM:) see this scar!
Priceless metric. You are just priceless. -
-
Re: Dear Burning Man,
Tue, May 13, 2008 - 8:09 AMDear Burning Man LLC,
I would like to take a mommnet of your time to ask you to please consider changing your emblem. In it's current configuration it is shaped proto simular to the Secular Humanist symbol which is concerned with human worship. I know this is not your intent given the many wonderful spiritual people who attend your event and who are welcoming to the word of God.
God's own true words can be heard in the Bible when he declares in the ten Commandments"' Thou shall worship no god before me."
Thus , your event emblem can inadvertantly encourage people to practice paganism which is a sin. Some even consider it to be satanism.
This sin is most commonly found is seemingly accestable social behaviors and practices such as, idol prayer, massage areas, yoga, homosexual acts, sodomy, rim jobs, strap on sex, lesbianism, exhibitionism, sado masachism, bondage and disipline, ass sex, bi sexual orgies, furry fetish, cosplay, glory holes, poop play, splooshingrape fantacys, testicle sucking, hairy armpit tasting, bear love and intoxication.
If you could please consider changing your emblem to something less provocative of sinful behavior or maybe, put a cross whithin it's image to remnd people not to risk enternal damnation, for a bit of reach around sex, that would be great.
Thank you,
Jimmy Johanson (Friends of Christ) -
-
Re: Dear Burning Man,
Tue, May 13, 2008 - 6:29 PM> would like to take a mommnet of your time
Mommnet? Is that something MILF-lovers use?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Re: Request letters For Burningman
Wed, May 14, 2008 - 10:32 PMDear Burning Man,
I would like you to consider putting those nice people from Thunderdome near Center Camp.
After a fine evening of screaming "Kill 'em! Kill 'em" I find myself often overheated and fanning while breathing deeply to steady myself. I yearn for a cool chai...and the walk takes far too long.
Sincerely,
Aroused in Black Rock