You’re a Burner if...

dinsdale!

you use IMVU as your instant messenger so that you can dress up while talking to people on-line.

"One time at Burning Man"..... is a common sentence starter.
You always have a costume for any costume party.
You drive past a junkyard and do a triple take...."Man, I could sure use that!"

You have as much fun planning for the event as you do being there (well, almost!)

Your criteria for buying a vehicle is towing capacity and how many people you're taking to the playa.

he he,

this topic has gone the rounds over the years, nice to see new ones, and here is some older ones from others and myself re "you know you're a burner when:"

-You take the weird big bubble wrap stuff that your mail ordercomputer equipment was packed in (flo-pak Cell-O air cushions to be precise) and wrap it around your body trying to come up with a fashion concept

-Most of your camp is comprised of items bought at Home Despot and not REI

-Someone says 'PVC' and you think 'Shade Structure' before 'Sprinkler Pipe'

-You have Playa Dust in a salt shaker on your table as a condiment in case you get homesick for Black Rock City

-You go to the beach and only you have a bottle of SPF 30 encrusted with playa dust and not sand

-Sneakers in a dryer sound suspiciously like the Techno Music you heard on Burn Night

-You have some Burner friends in a non )^( context and you have to ask them what their real names are to introduce them to your mundane friends

-You salivate when the local gas station has Propane on sale

-You own a bunch of 20# Propane tanks and *no* gas grill

-You're much better prepared than most of your family/friends to handle the situation when the water or power goes out

- Your mundane friends come to you first to borrow a tent or camping equipment

-You get more email from the )^( list than the Spammers

-You're in the store loading up at the after-Xmas sale with strings of LED lights and they're NOT for Xmas, but 'cos "those would be great for the Village" and the the store clerk goes 'huh?'

-You start wondering when tickets will be going on sale, to an event that's 8 months away.

- You explain why you got a trailer hitch installed on your compact car, cos "it'll be a great way to haul stuff to Playa del Fuego & other burns" and yer friends go "uh huh, okay..."

-You try and explain *any* of these threads to someone outside this world...

-You have several brand-new 12V batteries sitting around, when there's nothing wrong with the perfectly-good battery in your car

-You go to a park and find yourself picking up even garbage and moop that others left behind, because, well, "leave no trace" ya know...(true story)

-Your new source of cool ideas in fresh gear for club wear & parties is the Army-Navy Surplus Store. And you seem to have spent more money in that store over the past six months than in any mall dept-type store you can think of.

-You are standing in line at 3:00 a.m. in a Walmart in Reno, waiting to pay for batteries, plastic sheeting, 12 gallons of water and a bicycle... and so are the half-dozen people in line in front of you. (True story from BM 2001)

-You walk into a Home Depot at 11:55 at night and you see two women and a guy buying 6 rolls of duct tape, 200' of rope, 12 1/2" rebar stakes 100' of PVC piping, and no pipe dope for the PVC

-You go to the Louvre and wonder what all of the various "masterpieces" would look like wreathed in glorious flames.

-You find yourself attending an anti-censorship rally at a radically free art event!

-You can't get enough of CNN and Fox News and the War in Iraq not because of the war coverage but because the terrain and dust storms look so much like BRC that you get homesick

-A lone electrical tower in the middle of nowhere on Interstate 5 takes on new physical significance

-Getting up everyday and putting on clothes seems unnatural

-You really never go camping but have way more camping gear than any of your friends

-You start saying things like, " this one time at Burning Man" ... A la American Pie's " One time at band camp" refrain

-You start lusting after the deluxe sun showers at REI

-You start collecting weird objects that just seem playa-esque

-Wearing ram's horns to a party seems like the most natural thing in the world

-Forgetting that introducing myself as Miss Erika sounds odd in California. If this were Georgia...sure

-You have to define a "Smut Puddle" to someone

-Getting your oil changed at Jiffy Lube makes you giggle & then get all serious. Somehow working in the phrases: get in/get off/get out to the perplexed technician

-Going "home" takes on a whole new meaning in August

-You're the only one in the entire Reno Hilton parking lot with a cargo van (filled with camp trash to boot!)

-Watching the acrobatics at Cirque Du Soleil makes you wish you were running around doing cartwheels in Black Rock City

-You cave in the top of your Suburban and you smile.... because it was just enough wood to make your ideal structure

-You smile because the Snow pack has been very deep and the playa has begun to flood.... and you pray it is enough to keep the dust down

-You care more for the people you met at the playa then the ones you live next to

-You stop explaining Burning Man to people and just say.....I'm one of those.....and smile when even one says back.....so am I!

-You consider the epithet 'Freak' as a compliment.

-The employees at your local DIY Warehouse are on a first-name basis, inquire as to what project you're up to, go out of their way to help.....and ask to see pictures!

-The traffic report tells of a 'Carbeque' and you know that the only real one is Gigsville's Fire Pit!

-You know that a gasoline engine powered Radio Flyer Wagon and Toilet are not just the Hot Wheels you can buy at the store.

-You don't know the Mundane Names of most of your friends. And if you do, you still don't use it, and didn't know their Mundane Name until years later!

-You go to a techno/DJ party and you wonder where all the costumes and all the naked people are and why everyone looks and acts so irrepressively NORMAL... and WHY doesn't anyone else notice that this is going on?

-People don't understand why you just "give things away"..... or pick up litter

-Water becomes your drink of choice and you always sub-consciouslynote whether or not you "piss clear"

-Your wife asks to borrow your dress! -or- Your wife thinks the skirts you bought were for her! -or- You are heard arguing with another man about who's skirt is more manly!

-You keep multiple sports bottles of water stored in our fridge and in your car. And you don't live within hundreds of miles of a desert.

-The wallpaper on your screen is shot you took of a piece of untouched playa from 5 feet in the air

-You'd drive 3 hours on I-95 through crappy traffic just to have a beer with somebody you camped near two years ago.

-You go to properly clean out your monster backpack round about the end of September find a few scraps of paper with e-mail addresses written on them. It's bad enough you cannot remember one thing about how you got them, so you e-mail "Hi, I think I might have met you on the Playa, can you tell me any more?"

-You subconsciously break your non-BM friends down into two categories: Those that could appreciate and involve themselves and become Burners, and the others.

-the car/bus ride home from work is no longer a chore, but an uninterrupted time to flush those daily little brainfarts out into full-fledged BM ideas. Physics be damned! (As an example..From someone whistling the Smurf song down a hallway at work and getting
stuck in my head. The drive today lead me to a thought about an art car / bus with plush mushroom stools, televisions and speakers playing Smurf re-runs. The front of the vehicle would of course have to be a 15 foot paper mache Dopey the Smurf with the driver just behind Dopey's head)

--Each year off the playa you carry around in the back of your car things that you only take out on the playa.

--Maybe you just don't wash some things when you get home, in order to keep some playa dust around.

--You have to hide the fact you take things home for Burning Man purposes which other people would throw away. In fact, you find your own overall garbage depositing falling.

--You then have serious doubts about not taking an otherwise less attractive job, only because you see there is a )'( in their ad (see for just one example, www.hiredynamics.com).

--Fire never really feels the same.

--You wish you had carpet in your home just like the feel of out on the playa at midnight under a full moon on Saturday night.

--You find yourself reaching a place where synchronicities don't quite have the evocation that they used to.

--Noise from your neighbors and hood back on the pavement has an entirely different feel.

--The only time of year you "really need to" shop thrift stores, antique shops, or yard sales is for Burning Man.

--The only music you now listen to is stuff you heard only on the playa (and often, never hear again).

--You wave or glee at some stranger in another car who also has Burning Man stickers.

--You have to remember to not be seen naked in the window of your home as well as wear clothes out the door.

--You have a difficult time not suddenly bursting out laughing in a sani-hut somewhere other than on the playa, and also not leaving some communique.

--Every time you hear some voice over an intercom, especially at some transportation area, you burst out laughing with similar memories in sani-huts in Black Rock City.

--Every now and then you see some more glitter.

--You find yourself having to be more careful with giving gifts to non-BM relations.

--You must somehow tag a car with BM stickers with even more BM stickers.

--Triangles, domes, and geometry immediately evoke memories and visions of geodesic domes.

--You find in some balances that going to Burning Man is more important than a job.

--"I will only use it on the playa. It may get damaged otherwise."

--You don't ever quite understand why others who consider and may be able to attend their first Burning Man, then decide not to, regardless of you being extra careful to not be overly persuasive.

--The only time some neighbors talk to you is when you are packing for and when you return from Burning Man.

--You find things are not all the drastically different anymore in your world from your world in Black Rock City....

"You’re a Burner if..."

You're walking in the city and suddenly realize you're happy and shout "Happy!"
and listen for a reply...

stick figures tickle your happy spot. . .

you could pick Larry Harvey or Maid Marian out of a police line up. . .

Its July and you are still vacuming playa dust out of your vehicle. . .

you check burningman.com on a weekly basis even though you know they only update the site once in a blue moon. ..

You LOVE going to the wonderful state of nevada

you're greatest addiction is spinning fire at the drop of a hat

Your family consults before planning any family related activities between mid July & mid September.

you know you're a burner if you learned to sew because you could not find that just right loin cloth, then never stopped and now have a closet full of strangely altered and colored clothing.

you drive 200 miles to "visit your mum" but it is really because the thrift stores in Oregon have no tax and you have this crazy costume in mind.

you get giddy thinking about the desert and you sweat not knowing who your camping with yet and it is only January.

You're convinced that your address is 6:30 and E

you've forever replaced the metaphor "like trying to find a needle in a hay stack" with "like trying to find a pill in a tent"

You read this entire thread and find it endlessly fascinating and funny.

Your friends keep laughing and telling you, "Not EVERYTHING is about Burning Man!!"

Or people start talking about camping in the desert, fire, dust, whatever, and you impulsively ask, "Is this about Burning Man??"

U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name" takes on a new, almost transcendental meaning.

you periodically "test out" beers that you would normally never drink, just because they come in aluminum cans instead of bottles. and then take notes.

you have tons of friends that you have never ONCE seen indoors.

Your 6 year old niece knows what The Man looked like every year since the beginning and can describe it in detail by the year, even though she nor her parents have ever been to BM. She likes to announce to people that shell be going to BM when she's 18.

"You’re a Burner if..."

You walk in the opposite direction around the pole.

your parents start buying you burning man supplies as christmas presents... and they're the best presents you've ever recieved.

when someone says what time it is, you interject with "hey, i've lived on that street!"

you get homesick when baking brownies becuase the top of them get flakey cracks just like the playa...

Every employee in the local fabric store knows you by name and runs because they know if they get stuck helping you they will be cleaning 10 colors of fur off themselves for the next week... They no longer ask why you are buying 100 yards of fur on sale for $5 a yard... They say things like "we put this on clearance just for you". You get a discount for buying all the clearance fur they have.

All the clothes you own either have fur fuzz or playa on them, no matter how many times you wash them.

Maybe i do work with too much fur

<You watch those car commericals that show cars racing across the dessert so you can look at the playa and dream. >

Unless you're from Utah, then you recognize that flat white surface in the Honda ads as the Bonneville Salt Flats. In which case you know it is time for a potty break in Wendover, because the salt flats are right off I-80 on the way to BRC near the UT/NV border.

if you're on this tribe ALL THE TIME

...you stashed that one playa dust-encrusted jacket or shirt away in the back of your closet and every once in a while, when feeling particularly nostalgic, pull it out and bury your face in it just to breathe that sweet sweet dust again....

You bring a battery powered blacklight with you into thrift stores, and aren't afraid to ask the clerk if they can turn off the lights for a second so you can look for blacklight-friendly items.



Oh, and you shake items in thrift stores to see if they are moopy.

You notice every RV you pass on the road.
"Shopping" means browsing through army surplus stores.
Every trip to Wal-Mart includes a pass down the camping supplies aisle.
You find yourself saying things like "I watched the Man while standing under the Flower."

You find yourself staring longingly at the jar of Playa Dust sitting on your window sill.

While trying to keep in shape, for burning man, you ride an exercycle with your eyes closed, picturing the playa the entire time.

You get laid off from your job and hope you stay unemployed until September so you can spend more time on the playa.

Oh, wait, that just makes me a loser.

Nevermind.

you have GearDrifts in your house.

Ongoing conversations for months at home, "Is this moop?" "nope, i'll be using it for a costume piece." "y'know, i hear it's called 'trash' around here." "nah."

You pull handfulls of cigarette butts out of your pockets when you do laundry...bonus points if you don't smoke.

or

You carry a pocket ashtray all the time...double bonus points if you don't smoke.

You buy clothes at goodwill not because you like the clothes or that they fit you but because you like the fabric and will make it into something else.

You decide that the best place to get married is at Burning Man and your wedding party are great sports! The maid of honor is one of my best friends and he's wearing a dress for the wedding which is not the suprise. The suprise is my brother and my 66 year old father are wearing dresses as well! Dad rules! All the women are going to wear tux's including my mom! It is going to be fun and all are invited!

You sign letters "Burn baby burn!", "Burn well!" or "Love & Ashes!" (Thank you Ed for that one!)

You hug complete strangers in line at Wal Mart.

You carry a journal with you at all times to write down those ideas you get because you never know when inspiration will strike and the journal is beginning to get full!

You're "default" world friends go through your shoes and wonder if you have a new profession involving dancing and a pole because of all the stripper shoes you now own! (That's what they call them, not me. I call them everyday shoes!)

You ask one of your male best friends if he'd wear a dress for your wedding if you ask him to be your maid of honor and he jumps on the chance! (Thanks Captain Whatever! Luv ya!)

You come back from Burning Man and you realize you scare your 11 year old son because he keeps saying things like "Mom, why do you keep giving stuff away?" and "Alright mom, you're creeping me out! What's with all the hugging!"

You can sell the idea of going to Burning Man to anyone better than an Amway rep can sell there wares.

You convince your retired parents, siblings and half the people you work with to go with you. Now your trying to convince your 85 year old granny! (LOL! Granny won't go but it's fun to pick on her about it!)

You check Craigslist for areas within driving distance of you every day looking for that perfect "free, just come haul it off" RV or school bus!

Your freinds keep asking why you giggle every time you drive by Jiffy Lube.

You own more than one GP medium or large army surplus tent and can set it up by yourself.

You do all your camping cooking before you leave the house.

You know how to keep a keg cold in 110 degree heat.

you're a burner if.. you spend your idle time making lists of what makes people a burner.

Additional: "You're a bruner if"

You quit your job to attend Burning Man and find a new job that is flexible for attending every year.

You have a separate savings account for Burning Man funds only.

You have a room or storage unit designated for Burning Man items.

You spend all year attempting to convert others into "Burningmanism".

You stash your ticket in the safest place possible and check on it every so often as if it were a priceless gem.

You apply the Burning Man experience to your everyday life.

You've watched that damned malcom in the middle burning man episode on youtube
more than once and keep offering to show it to new people.
ahhhhh
(the suburban dad artwork thing is just to fcking funny.)
: )
revvrob

You know what time Dusk Thirty is. . . and at least 18 of your new found best friend live somewhere between 6 o'clock and the esplanade.

you know someone else is a burner because you notice playa dust around the seams of their shoes.

...if you can build anything out of zipties, duct tape and a sheet

After your first burn start planning 6 months in advance... buying playa clothes, reading these forums, communicating with possible camp mates... even though you hated your first year and swore you would never go back.

You get all excited about trips to Goodwill....you'll head over there at the drop of a hat.
and at the checkout, the cashier looks at you funny. Who would buy *that*?
--and it's the only time you go shopping for work clothes, but you didn't really go shopping for work clothes; you just found some great stuff incidentally as you looked for costumes.

You never get to sleep before sunrise on weekends because of all these bitchin' local Burner parties. You meet new people every weekend. You are nearly forty now and just becoming a rockstar.

You get all excited (okay, so that's a theme in my life) when you're driving somewhere and see a sign that says "Ranger" or a ranger truck. Until you realize it's a default world ranger. Then it's not so exciting anymore.

you have playa swag you *never* take off your neck. even when neck hooping.

your friends notice and comment that you are suddenly becoming markedly more creative than you ever were before.

and...
if you FEEL it, baby! If you feel it in your blooooood!!

your brother bitches about the playa dust still oozing from the crevices of his jeep when he washes it eight months after loaning it to go to burning man and you tell him "you'd appreciate it a lot more if you'd just go with us..."
love you michael!!

rebar and pvc make your heart race.

you wear a gold posing pouch and a tutu under your work clothes
(hope not to get in a car wreck without your burning man ticket in your pocket)

offer bacon and ice cream sandwiches as hors d'oeuvres

you get all misty eyed at the car wash

...you're so jelous of rednecks you have to rip off Jeff Foxworthy.

You have broken the lamp in the living room while practicing staff /poi spinning at least twice

You shop for playa outfits way more often than you shop for default world clothing.

Your "hometown" on myspace is Black Rock City.

...You have multi-colored hair year round

...You commonly use the phrase "can i borrow that in august?"

...Everytime you find something cool in your house you go hide it in the "playa closet." (I do this all the time, i just found a brand new ac unit out in the garage)

..Your college professors know you miss the first week of school every year

...You pay for your burning man trip in october by making halloween costumes for people($2,000 this year!!!)