I'm sorry you and your mates had to go through the trauma of all that. Good to hear the truth about the situation.... Thanks for sharing that.

You shouldn't 'have to explain or defend. But thank you anyway. I am sure there are many others out there who had questions too. Tthe rumours were ridiculous and didn't make sense. This does. The whole things is so terribly sad and tragic.

My heart goes out to you and your campmates. I am really impressed with the way you all handled it. Recognizing that for him this was all about him and his pain and that he didn't intend to hurt you, is an admirably wise perspective, IMO.

Thank you for sharing this. You had to go though a lot, and I'm sorry that this happened with you and your team.

Thank you very much for sharing.

Death is difficult, whether you know the deceased or not, you and your camp behaved admirably.

And David Best is a true artist. Very beautiful sentiment.

Moistpup - I'm truly sorry you had that experience. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and I hope you understand I don't mean any disrespect to you by posting this on your thread. But it is pertinent, so here goes...

I'd like to publicly share a piece of private flame mail sent to me by someone named Off To Seattle.

I don't know this person - are they also part of the Comfort & Joy camp? Because they seem to imply they are somehow involved...in which case I'll reiterate my original commentary about the lack of sensitivity (or the self-centeredness) that seems rampant in the community today.

This person is obviously combining my feedback with that of others, since much of what they are referring to I never said, but my real point is that it's wonderful that as a community we can differ in (and respect one another's) opinions without being subjected to this type of chickenshit flame mail.


Subject: hey judgement idiot

wow, curly girl, what the fuck do you suggest the folks at comfort and joy do. pack up their camp and go home since some guy decided to invade their space and use it to kill himself. It was a tragedy, one they didn't ask for and shouldn't be responsible for and as for the quote, it is total bullshit. I feel sorry for the guy that choose to take his life and I wish he had gone to emergency services instead.

as for all the folks making assumptions about what comfort and joy as a camp was about and is about why not look at thier listing.
Comfort and Joy started out six years as the octopus's garden of comfort and joy to provide people with a place to unwind and get pamper and not as a sex camp. you want to know what kind of edgy activities they did this year? they had pedicure parties, yoga class and a gym as well as a chill space that was queercentric and free of creepy pervs. oh and yes they had a tea party for gays over 40. Also this year they had a memorial to the woman Alleycat who cofounded the camp who died this past year. if there is one thing that the folks at C&J get is that a death isn't a trival thing.

As for the bullshit that people thought the body was art, that's not true. what was true is that the body had to stay up until the coronor came and that a camp that did nothing but worked hard every year to bring some joy to the playa had to deal with even more death.

maybe if you had actually been on the playa, knew any of the folks who are at the camp or thier history, you'd have any right to pass any kind of freaking judgement.

Wow, that would have been a terrible shock to you and your campmates.

It is truly sad that someone will choose to end their lives early, and it is sad that he did not get the support and care that he probably needed to pull himself out of the black place he was in.

And it is sad that you and your campmates had this thrown upon you.

Leaving it at the temple burn is the best thing that you can do..

Big hug

I'm so sorry.

Thank you for an actually account of what happened and not one sensationalized by the media. I work in a form of the media and know the trash they can throw. When we were on the Playa, we were told that it was a member of the camp and they decided to keep the camp rolling. (We weren't told what camp it was though.) We thought it was a little cold hearted but we give the benefit of the doubt and figured we'd end up hearing the truth after we returned to the default world. Sorry that this had to happen to you guys and no one should hold you to blame to stay open because this person not associated with your camp chose your space to end his life.

MoisturePup- after knowing Kitten & Comfort & Joy for years, I can only say how sorry I m that this happened in your camp. You have got to be one of the most giving & caring camps on the playa, and for this to happen...... I don't have words to express my sympathy to you (as well as to his friends & family)

I know that I stand by you in the decisions that were made, and let me know what support I can provide to help you through this.

Thank you for sharing this account. I did not find the Chronicle's report credible - in particular, the claim that this person was left to hang there for hours. I camped very close to you and walked by your camp very frequently, especially in the morning (potty trips, coffee, pancakes, ice, etc.). Based on when there was activity in the tent, and when the rangers closed off the area, there is simply no way that "hours" could have passed.

Bravo Moist, You and your campmates are in my thoughts. I can't imagine what a tough decision it was, and I applaud your courage to continue on.
Thank you for the clarifications, though they were not necessary, the facts are appreciated.

I am reminded that many people passed Mathew Sheperd's body thinking it wasn't real. I think many of us would like to believe a dead body was not "real."

i am sorry you had to have that experience. take care.

in a calm, caring, and thoughtful manner. all the other harsh words and blames and 'accounts' become even more upsettiing just by the way 'they' pounce on one another.
thank you for taking the time to relay the event and the manner in which your campmates decided to continue.
his pain is now gone. rest in peace.

Thank you for your post MoistPup. My heart goes out to all of you, those I know in C&J, and all those I have yet to meet.

Moist,

I passed your tent nearly every day, and each time I did I felt proud of your group for moving forward and not making drastic changes because of what happened. I wish now that I had made the effort to come in and talk with you.

I know from personal experience, as my sister took her life in similar fashion last summer, that suicide is the highest form of personal choice, a selfish act because the person is in a state of mind that has no room for consideration of anyone else. The personal suffering is unbearable. I don't believe for a moment that the victim thought for a second about how his actions could potentially ruin your experience. It definitely occured to me that the theme of your camp may have spread just a little bit of peace to him in his final moments of pain, and if that was the case, then your camp provided the ultimate sacrifice for your fellow human being in his time of need. True playa spirit.

It's very sad that he was in a place of so much love, surrounded by so many enlightened beings, and was not able to find another solution. Only he knows the real truth, and in my mind he will now have time to ponder this life, rest for a while, and another opportunity when he's ready to experience his challenges again. We're all here to learn, and knowing and remembering this sometimes helps the pain and suffering.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or makes up in their minds. You were there, and you dealt with an extreme and emotionally difficult situation as best as you could. The strength of you and your camp mates is honerable, and your choice to continue spreading Comfort & Joy admist the trauma is truly commendable.

Sending lots of love your way.

~eyefleye~

You are all very courageous and loving. Thank you for sharing.

Beautiful post, MoistPup.

My sympathies, and it just goes to show how rumors can get out of hand both on the playa, in the press & on stupid BBSs. Sounds like you're handling it with equanimity. I'd still wait for the autopsy before making too many judgments about the perpetrator.

This was a good friend a co-worker of mine that took his life.

It is sooooo sad that this happened -- he was a bright, funny, smart, goofy, happy and very fun guy who was a local musician here in Colorado and had lots of friends around him. I don't think anyone in the world could have ever seen this coming -- he was always smiling and goofing off back here at home!

I am so sorry for what your camp had to go through -- that isdefinately rough but I am glad that you were all respectful and feel the way you do about it. We are going through some very tough times back here in Colorado amongst his friends and co-workers who are all just now finding out after days of wondering where he could be.

I honestly did not know much about it till I read this post so I appreciate you posting the truth and letting us know a little more about what happened.

Thanks again for being respectful and posting the truth. We are dedicating this upcoming weekend at STS9 to him and will all be dancing in his memory and remembering the great times we all got to share with this amazing soul...

Moist...

As one of the first Rangers on the scene, it may have been I that woke you that morning. I can tell you that the event of that morning affected everyone involved in many ways. One Ranger, a former EMT, had to go off-shift after the scene was cleared because he was "taken back" to a event that made him quit his EMT career. Other Rangers weren't so devastated, although everyone was affected. There was no joking or morbidity, and non-camp members who were kept from the scene were given very little information...to keep the rumors from flying.

I just wanted to say that everyone I encountered at Comfort and Joy during that terrible time handled himself very well, with no arguing, no problems. Thank you all for your cooperation. I'm glad you kept the camp operating. I'm sure that poor soul had no intention of hurting you.

My heart goes out to you, your camp, and the man who ended his life. It's disheartening to hear news like this... especially at an event where there is so much beauty and freedom to be who you truly are and to meet others with a similar outlook. The temple burn was beautiful this year... although different. I felt more of a sadness in it this year... Thank you for sharing the truth around this suicide. It's important for people to realize that no one "left" him there for hours... we are all human and inherently good... we all bleed... we all cry... we all feel fear.

I hope you all heal... and that you take away the positive experiences from this year and let those bring you light...

My father's said that, having been part of a few events that made it into the papers, he's learned never to fully trust any media account -- sometimes he wasn't sure that the press was even describing the same event.

MP, thank you for your honesty and sensitivity. I'm sorry you, your campmates, your friends, Jerm and all who knew him had to go through this.

The Spirit Wind Cafe (kitty-corner from Comfort & Joy) was a regular part of the morning playa routine for me & my boyfriend. When we noticed the rangers, sheriffs, and roped off part of the camp, we were curious as to what happened.

We spoke with one of the rangers and were politely told that he couldn't make any statements about the incident. No drama, no negativity -- just professionalism and courtesy. Kudos to the rangers and other EMR folks.

We had attended events earlier in the week at C&J (although it's faded, the toenail polish and fingernail polish from the Pedicure Party is still noticeable today) as well as events later in the week.

As always, Comfort & Joy was a wonderful space, and I'm very glad that you were present on the playa.

furry hugz
Terry

I posted this in the other thread (started by Curly Girl) about the "Suicide".
I felt that posting it here would be relevant and OK since this thread is actively discussing the same topic.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I think people should take a look at their fear of death through this, because death is something we all face... suicide or not.

"There's no such thing as Suicide" - Hinterland (lyric from the song "Stanley's Minutes")

What does that mean to me?
It means that life conspires to murder when one takes "their own" life.

Our thoughts and emotions are not our "own". They come from a communal realm where souls meet and separate with and from bodies.
The thought/emotion of two people to make love at a specific moment yields a specific human being to be conceived in the womb of the female. That human to be born would be an entirely different being if the sperm next to "the one" were to have penetrated the egg first.
Life is strangely communal and ONE with total, unescapable perfection in each instant for each instance. There is no exception to the perfection. Most people don't realize how perfectly choreographed each moment is for them and everyone around them. They spend their lives regretting the past and in turn cursing themselves to repeat their negative cycles.

If suicide is solely a self-committed act, then why does the law still refer to a person who killed themself as "the victim".

This is not a "tragedy". This is life. Life and death go hand in hand.

Years ago my wife passed away from complications after open-heart surgery. She was young, otherwise healthy, brilliant and full of life & wisdom to offer this world. I never looked at her death as a tragedy... even though everyone else around me did their best to convince me it was a tragedy. Sure she died young, but the night she died, she openly declared that she lived a full life and would accept if dying was in her immediate future.

Through losing someone so close to me, I was fortunate enough to confront death and visit the realms she was able to usher me to.
I learned that there is nothing to fear and definitely nothing to be disgusted by.

I'm not saying everyone should have the same opinion I do about death. All I am saying is that life must go on for those who are living, or else death's ripples compound outward and spread more death.
In this case, if Comfort & Joy's camp were to take down that tent because it was "a place of death", that would amplify the death. It seems to me that what they did was stand up to death by cleansing their camp, respectfully holding space for the unknown person who died and allowing his soul to dwell in its final resting place among the living who were continuing on as any other creature of the world (besides fearful, withheld humans) would do.

For someone to say they were "partying it up" or "hootin' and hollerin" in the tent where he passed is totally ignorant and presumptous. It sounds to me like it was quite the opposite and alot of heartfelt thought and energy went into "HOW" they were going to deal with the situation in a respectful way to all who were involved... that includes the deceased AND themselves.

They took the rope he hung himself with to the Temple and probably sent prayers with it up in the smoke...

If they had taken down the tent... would that have been enough to honor the fearful's notion of respect for the dead?
Or would they have to tear down the whole camp and move it elsewhere... or drill a big hole in the ground, because the ground underneath him was too soiled with death to be a place of enjoyment for others.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful to anyone's opinions & feelings, I'm just trying to call attention to our fear of death and how it makes us look at our lives. If all of us were more at peace with death, we would also be more at peace with life.

MoistPup,

For what it is worth, you have my complete respect for sharing your truth and how you reacted to the horrific situation. I also salute your entire camp for the brave and positive way they dealt with the pain and trauma that was caused by a stranger (at least to those closest to the incident).

That story represents everything that is good about Burning Man to me.

I'm so sorry your camp had to go through that. I've seen someone killed before and it's absolutely horrifying. We had heard about the suicide, but we had heard something to the effect that it was due to Autoerotic Asphyxiation at a gay sex camp. Ahhh, rumors. We had also heard that people thought it was a performance art piece. I know people in the default world would find that difficult to believe, but I found it to make perfect sense -- it's Burning Man. I hope the guy who was working out and thought it was art isn't too hard on himself for not noticing it was really a dead body. It's totally understandable.

As for Jerm's friends -- I am so sorry for your loss. Please do not blame yourself. My friends and I had talked about this as well -- If you can't find something to make you happy at Burning Man, your pain must be beyond anything anyone could ever comprehend. But, that is no one's fault. No amount of making him laugh or cheering him up would probably have helped.

As for Comfort & Joy -- I always wanted to stop by, but it seemed that every time I wasn't volunteering, there were massive dust storms. I would have loved to have met you all. You are obviously amazing people.

I agree with your decisions. My younger brother killed himself in my Mothers house a few nights before Christmas just last year.
I immediately set about refurbishing the space ( carpet, drapes, mattress, et.al., ) and when I was done I asked her to spend time with me in there .... watching movies, telling stories .... and to not " deny " the location ... We spent days and nights in there ... it was hard for her but my Mother now uses the room for her comfort instead of being repelled from it. Peace to all Souls ........

Under the Constitution's penumbra of freedoms, and close to its core, is the right of self-determination. That includes the right to die when we see fit. Each person is the only expert on their own lives. The rest of us are just listening, observing, and guessing.

While I offer my strength and prayers to the friends of this man, I have also offered a prayer for the deceased. May he have reached the nirvana he wanted to hit during the time he sought it.

RevCS
SF/CA

Moist

Like so many others I send you love and comfort. I'm shocked and dissapointed to see many negative accounts and responses to this happening. How could anyone believe people mistook this for art?
As a former hospice nurse, and one who actually witnessed a burner death also I send you deep hugs and prayers. People have no idea how this can affect you- I 'm glad so many true burner hearts are sharing love and goodness for you and your campmates
Hopefully some people can learn from this, stop and pay attention to people who might be in pain- you can make a difference!
Aim

Thanks for sharing this MoistPup. I think you made all the right decisions despite the sudden burden placed upon you and your campmates. I hope Jerm found his peace there.


As Mateo would say:

May the powers that be and those unseen
protect and bless all those in need.

Moist -

To you and your campmates, I am so sorry for what you've had to go through. This is such emotional news and I hope you can forgive those who seem less than sensitive. Many people haven't gone through anything remotely similar and don't have the experiences to teach them how to react.

Please know that I'm sending warm, comforting vibes your way.

Comfort and Joy is one of my favorite camps. I'm always delightedly surprised when I come across you folks! My sympathy and support to you! I know you are good, no, =extraordinarily wonderful= people.

In 2006, you folks were the best of next door neighbors to our SunScreenStation. If anyone had chosen our campsite in which to leave a messed-up life behind, we too would have been shocked and saddened. Sounds as though it was one more stress during what was arguably the most environmentally-challenging of my five years on the Playa. Good luck and good wishes in the future.

constabEL

I just wanted to echo some of the setiments that have been expressed in this thread. I am sorry that this had to happen in your camp. I respect the decisions that you all made as a group. I was camping right down the street, at The Pink Spot. Everything that any individual does or does not do in our camp is the group's responsibility. We stick together, come what may. I remembered seeing your tents going up, meeting some of your crew, and always having a smile at the comfort and joy sign. After learning about the suicide, I in no way felt that your space was somehow tainted as I rode by on my way to the honey buckets, or out to the play. I admire your strength and fortitude. I hope you found some solace in the temple burn, as well as in continuing to see Burningman 2007 to the finish. May peace find you and all of your campmates.

Does anyone have a picture of this guy? Reason I ask is because I ran accross a really confused guy during the first Man burn and I just want to lay to rest the possibility that it might have been him.

Money quote:

"Nevada law enforcement officials and Burning Man organizers this week disputed a widely reported rumor stemming from a suicide at the annual festival in the Black Rock Desert last month.

Press reports and blog postings that stated that friends and members of the Comfort & Joy camp thought the hanging body of a young man was an 'art piece,' are untrue, according to Sheriff Ron Skinner of Pershing County, Nevada, and Andie Grace, spokeswoman for Burning Man."

FULL ARTICLE:
ebar.com/news/article.php